Feb 24
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au jus
Feb 19
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ha/ha
We almost always thought the same things were funny. That may be the best sign of intellectual communion.
Roger Ebert on Gene Siskel
Feb 18
Feb 5
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Science: get on this.
I get it that a watched pot never boils. Also, watching a pot is super boring when there’s other stuff to do.
But here’s my problem: a pot you leave alone has this tendency to boil without you knowing it and then you forget about ever wanted hard boiled eggs in the first place and then when you finally DO remember, the yolks are that gross grey/green color because they’ve been boiling for half and hour. Or all your water boils away and you can’t make noodles because there’s no water left and you have to start over. Or your simmering pot bubbles over and leaves annoying starchy water all over the oven and puts out the gas flame and now dangerous gas fumes are leaking everywhere preparing to KILL US ALL.
<Picture me slamming the pot down on the counter and looking into the camera as if you just told me the only way I can put on my sneakers today is to cut off my toes.>
There has to be a better way!
I want someone to invent a top for my cooking pot that has a whistle on it like my teapot does. That way, when I’ve left the kitchen to go answer the door, and then get distracted by something in the living room, there will be a helpful whistle calling me back into the kitchen when my water is ready.
Science, make it so.
Feb 3
Jan 20
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With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God’s grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.
-President Obama
Jan 19
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From The Desk of Barkley Q. Barkerton
Dear Computer-lookers:
It has come to my attention that winter is thoroughly unacceptable.
Please tiptap whatever you must into your machines to make this outrageousness stop post-haste.
Today I had to walk in SNOW.
One cannot be expected to carry on in such squalor.
I appreciate your prompt attention to this matter.
BQB:vkl
Jan 15
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Why I Love This City
On the train ride home tonight, the conductor came on the PA system.
“Folks, I hope you’re having a wonderful evening. Be safe on your way home. The wind chill’s going to be 30 below, so don’t go out if you don’t have to. Just stay home, have a bowl of soup or … wine. If you have a vehicle, start it up and let it get good and warm. And check that you have wiper fluid, ’cause otherwise those wipers won’t work. Have a good night, folks.”
I love living in a city where the train conductors give fatherly advice. It’s like living in Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood sometimes.
Jan 10
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Fool’s Gold
The King enjoyed more than just peanut butter and banana:
In February 1976, Elvis Presley combined his passion for peanut butter and free spending ways and flew a party of friends in his private jet from Memphis to Denver. The purpose was to dine on a heroic peanut butter sandwich called the Fool’s Gold Loaf, a specialty of the Colorado Gold Mine Company.
This extravagant, artery-blocking sandwich consisted of an entire loaf of bread, hollowed out, spread thickly with peanut butter and blueberry jelly and filled with a pound of crisp fried bacon. The party’s “King-sized” order consisted of twenty-two Fool’s Gold Loaves, a case of champagne, and a case of Perrier for Elvis and other non-tipplers. The impressive carry-out order was delivered to the party - and consumed - at the airport. The tab for the expedition? About sixteen thousand dollars.
Jan 3
