I saw a woman today with a violin case and I thought how cartoons made me think every violin case might have a gun inside. Then I thought, someone needs to make a gun full of tiny violins. That would show ‘em. That would show ‘em good.
Author Archives: Virginia
Jul 15
Useful Skills, as Defined by Saood, Who Can Solve a Rubik’s Cube
Saood: Solving a Rubik’s cube is actually a very useful skill.
Mrs. Lund: Tell me more.
Saood: Like, one day you could be walking down the street, and you meet this guy who is trying to solve a Rubik’s cube, and the guy is all, “Agh! I’m so frustrated I can’t solve this Rubik’s Cube, I could [...]
Holidays are Exhausting, from the desk of Barkley Q. Barkerton
Listen, people on the computers:
Holidays are exhausting. First, there are the friends. So many friends! You have to put all of your energy into making friends love you the most. Second, there are the snacks. At holidays, people are always eating snacks. You have to look at the snacks and let people know how much [...]
Best last line ever.
“And everybody was never seen again.” - Nathan H., 7th grade.
All of the above
Seventh Grader: Mrs. Lund, which is better, Dinosaurs or PeeWee Herman?
Mrs. Lund: That depends. At riding bicycles or tearing apart prey?
Seventh grader #2: All around. You have to pick.
Mrs. Lund: not emotionally equipped to deal with this choice.
Call me crazy…
I got the H1N1 shot today. DePaul had vaccines available for at-risk individuals, and since my right lung is a whoopee cushion and my left lung is a broken toy accordion, I qualify as at-risk.
I stopped by today, and outside the doors of the fitness center stood two men with clipboards. One [...]
Elegant Truths
This is so beautiful it almost makes me cry. I do feel lucky to live in this time, a time when someone can make an autotuned music video tribute to a science TV show from decades ago and have it zip through the wormholes of the internet to appear on screens across this world, this [...]
this morning
I woke up with a very distinct feeling.
The feeling was that I needed to go upstairs to ask someone something about Steve, but I knew they wouldn’t give me any information because I do not know Steve’s serial number.
And as Steve was dressing, I almost asked him, hey, what’s your serial number? It’s important for [...]
